Sixteen Years

I am now in my sixteenth year. Sometimes it feels like it has been forever, in the good way, but I lost track of the best of my old life, focusing on the new. This blog stands as testament that I wish to happily integrate both.

It has been an emotionally charged, tiring day. I have now had all the sleep I'm likely to get tonight so I'm trying to unwind with 'The Thick of It' Special. And I was just the bystander today. 

Good things happened for me until the full moon shone through the mist in George Square tonight. Girly things -  purple shiny fingernails, calf length black leather boots, new dress, new jewellery, new specs, time off work, cosy hat and earmuffs - you get the picture! Disruptions - communication breakdown (human and mobile) resulted in unplanned change, which is never a good thing (personally or professionally). Outcome - early to bed, early to rise.

As another day arrives, I consider how to organise a compartmentalised life again. By aiming to integrate my old life with the new, I do not mean that every part will be shared, as I realise that, with no dark spectre, sometimes it will be easier that way. Having said that, 5 February is still desirable. 

I hold (most of) my past relationships in high regard and fondly with affection, as I do with my present and, hopefully, my future relationships. It does not diminish or interfere with my feelings on this day. Would I feel the same if the roles were reversed? I would hope so - friends love you and lovers should always be friends. 

I should not be concerned that being proud of a former friend and lover's achievements may be misconstrued as vying for their affections again or putting temptation in my and/or their way. It is the close friendship I miss, the entertaining letters when I was lonely away from home and the changes he inspired in my life. Yes, I want the tshirt! Or has that role been replaced in my life and I can have only one? I should, and will, commit time and visit friends, without feeling guilty, self imposed of course ;-).

Gosh, a smiley crept in! 

-3 degrees forecast for tomorrow today - back to sensible winter clothing perhaps. 3am.

I have been told that using Facebook has brought a change in me and I do agree. For me, the change is on a social level, allowing myself to think of 'outside' - the past, the present and the future, cue Jethro Tull. Hmmh, Living the Past (1969) - spook!
I do not yet know what other paths it may offer me.

As for Morgaine, she travels to Glastonbury for Arthur's crowning as High King of All Britain, with the dawning realisation she is pregnant with his child.